Would I like myself?
You might find this disturbing, but believe me you'll find the same thing in another 59863402 blogs (owned by girls in their late teens that is). What difference would it make anyway. I guess, a slight change in the statistics??
Let's go straight to the juicy part
It's been such a philosophical week for me. I came to some resolutions and some point of views that are hard for me to accept. nevertheless, I'll try to embrace them. I decided to look at it objectively and do case studies out of it. God knows, I might read this post again and learn from from it...(if only I have the same amount of interest to do this in my studies....hahaha)
Case Study #1:I'm very selfish. I'm too full of myself...but I don't act as I am one.
What's wrong here? Am I a hypocrite for not being selfish in my acts or in my words? I wouldn't say that's the missing link..But what seems to trouble me at this very moment, is how I would think of my own good first before others. I'll think the consequences which affects me in any way.
Let's take an easy example.. I want to ask Linda* a favor...then I said sorry to bother her.
The first thing that race thru my neurons is this
"hmmmm if I'm gonna ask her to buy my meal..she'll think I'm using her and she'll won't put me in her best friend list..that's bad...for me"
For every part of me which hates myself for thinking as such..the other part just say it's the right thing to do and felt good bout that.
Conclusion: Try not to position myself as the main key player in any situation.
Case study #2: I'm the one who always screwed up...I'm the weakling.
This myth usually occurred to those with low self-esteem.It's pretty hard to tell off a person that's having this complication. For some reason that can only be explained by a Klingon, individual with inferior-complex, will have tough time to even prove a point...and worst- to even putting up a sentence. So, they usually end up as the average girl....that you won't even notice their existence.
Conclusion: There's no easy way out I guess...Stand up for what you think is right. If you screwed one time or make it 12 hundred times. Always have this at the back of your mind,you are not screwed for life.
I realised that I need to laugh more, lighten up and be comfortable with myself.Then, I can handle anything.
I can!
Let's go straight to the juicy part
It's been such a philosophical week for me. I came to some resolutions and some point of views that are hard for me to accept. nevertheless, I'll try to embrace them. I decided to look at it objectively and do case studies out of it. God knows, I might read this post again and learn from from it...(if only I have the same amount of interest to do this in my studies....hahaha)
Case Study #1:I'm very selfish. I'm too full of myself...but I don't act as I am one.
What's wrong here? Am I a hypocrite for not being selfish in my acts or in my words? I wouldn't say that's the missing link..But what seems to trouble me at this very moment, is how I would think of my own good first before others. I'll think the consequences which affects me in any way.
Let's take an easy example.. I want to ask Linda* a favor...then I said sorry to bother her.
The first thing that race thru my neurons is this
"hmmmm if I'm gonna ask her to buy my meal..she'll think I'm using her and she'll won't put me in her best friend list..that's bad...for me"
For every part of me which hates myself for thinking as such..the other part just say it's the right thing to do and felt good bout that.
Conclusion: Try not to position myself as the main key player in any situation.
Case study #2: I'm the one who always screwed up...I'm the weakling.
This myth usually occurred to those with low self-esteem.It's pretty hard to tell off a person that's having this complication. For some reason that can only be explained by a Klingon, individual with inferior-complex, will have tough time to even prove a point...and worst- to even putting up a sentence. So, they usually end up as the average girl....that you won't even notice their existence.
Conclusion: There's no easy way out I guess...Stand up for what you think is right. If you screwed one time or make it 12 hundred times. Always have this at the back of your mind,you are not screwed for life.
I realised that I need to laugh more, lighten up and be comfortable with myself.Then, I can handle anything.
I can!
4 Comments:
now that's the spirit. actually, sometimes it's better to just do something and later barulah think of the consequences, the way that i am. because life's more fun that way and you get to laugh about it later. well just don't do anything too terribly wrong lah.
anyways, it's good to think but too much of it just makes you too cautious. so think (of debate cases) but not too much (of people's perception of you) after all, the truth is what your mind tells you. Your truth is different from mine. In my head, you are pretty. Maybe not in yours. So, it's just in your head. Hahah (i feel like I'm writing lyrics to a song pula)
i think the surrounding of people's upbringing pretty much affects their character. Some of your friends might be more confident than you but that's not because they were born that way. It's the environment they grew up with that allows them to have such confidence.
For some of us, we have to instill it in ourselves by our own effort; but if you ask me, i think the ones who proactively instills it in oneself is the more nobler one. So I suggest you take up some motivational books.
Wow, am I blogging here? hehe. Anyways, talk to you later.
Mich
there's nothing wrong with prioritizing your interest above others kak zati, it's only human nature. it doesn't make you selfish so long as protecting your interest doesn't include infringing other peoples interest. so no worries there, i (and many others) can attest that generally you are not a selfish person.
as for the confidence and selfesteem part. i agree that it takes effort to break out from mediocrity. it's something i guess all of us struggle with. it's about what you learn from screwing up and not the fact that you screwed up in the first place. you are who you believe you are. so believe in greatness, kak zati, and that is who you will become. i've always seen you as a unique person with original perceptions and ideas. have more faith in who you are cause i can attest to the fact that you are a great person :)
and in contrast to mich i'd say self help materials are crap. it's what you tell yourself that really matters in building who you are. the true idea behind self-help.haha.
have a little faith kak zati.you're destined for greatness.
I'm flattered and motivated at the same time...which rarely happens you see.
Thanks for the thought.
truly appreciated
All i can say is that, life can be a two edgged sword at times.. i mean most of the time..
You have to know your own boundaries, strengths and weaknesses... Work on your strength and never be put down by your weaknesses...
Miss u so so much!!!
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